The Life and Times of a Janitor at VVT

The crowd is roaring in the background! "Jess-i-ca! The curling champion of the world!"

And then I look at the full length mirror in front of me and realize that if anyone were to look at me, they'd fall to the ground laughing...or stare at me blankly. There I be, dressed in my over-sized, navy blue "schmuck" with my chunky old tennis shoes covered in pink foam. When working at Valley View Towers, you've got to make fun for yourself! So when I deep-clean the bathrooms I slip and slide across the floor, taking my magic "scrubby pad" with me like a broom used for curling.

I think it is evident that my deep and abiding love for the Olympics has sunk to a deeper level of obsession. 

I spend four hours of my day spraying a spray bottle. The "spshh, spshh" sound is rather monotonous, so I spray out rhythms to the classics, such as Jingle Bells and Blue Danube. When residents walk into the bathroom, I often wonder if they catch on...probably not. They're too busy brushing their teeth over the sinks I just cleaned.

Then there is the ongoing battle with the hands-free paper towell dispensers. Absolutely bogus.

You know you're desperate for a nap when you willingly lay your head on the garbage can, and leave it there after shoving in a new sack.

And when I vacuum, I keep count of all the bobby pins that I suck up, hoping to set a new record each week. I'm not even going to discuss the amounts of hair that the vacuum consumes.

When I first started working at VVT, all the hair left in the bottom of the shower drain made me gag. I'm proud to report that after three and a half months of the same day-to-day work, wet hair no longer induces my gag reflex. It's still not a pleasant thing, but I've learned to cope.

One of my favorite things about work is seeing Christy. Christy is the contract custodian at VVT. She's a spunky 50-something year old with lots of grandkids to adore!  One of my favorite "Christy moments" happened two weeks prior to Halloween. She met me on my floor to take out the trash and suddenly exclaimed, "This is the happiest music EVER!" I stopped and asked her, "What is it?" She smiled at me. "Christmas music! And I'm lovin' every moment of it!" Christy has a love that runs deep for Christmas. Christy marked "Tree Day" on our work calendar so as to remind us when we could publicly celebrate Christmas and not get thrashed about it. Our office is wonderfully decorated and only red and green dry-erase markers are allowed. :)

Some of my favorite times at work also happen to be when Bill has a work order nearby. Sometimes he'll stop by and say hi, or he'll leave me a sticky note in my shoe (I love shoe notes). When I first got hired on, Christy would introduce me to everyone as Jessica: "She's dating 'Will' from IT." Thus, everyone I work with knows my relationship to dear Bill and they all love informing me when he's nearby. Christy has only one rule when Bill comes around. She usually exclaims it as she wanders back down the hall: "No mackin' in the halls!" :) I don't complain.

On the fourth floor, there is the floor-to-ceiling "Hot Wall." There are hundreds of male eye-candy magazine cutouts. No one complained...until someone hung a picture of the Jonas Brothers.

When I'm at work, I see the same girls everyday, and we all smile and exchange how-are-yous. But there a few girls who actually know my name. The only reason I know anyone is because I look at the names on their room doors. Being a janitor can be a lot of fun for this reason. I hover in the distance and hear all sorts of conversations I may or may not want to hear. I know a girl who has a fish named Sushi, I know what one girl scored on her biology test last week, I know who goes home for the weekend...Don't worry - none of this information will be used against them.

But today, someone other than Christy said, "Hi Jessica!"...and I've never introduced myself to her before. It made me smile inside to think that people do notice me now and again. :)

The fire alarm goes off regularly in VVT. Whenever it does, the entire building is evacuated and the fire chief comes to check things out. He is usually accompanied by the "hot" policeman (according to Christy) who then turns off the alarm system. It never seems to be anything tragic. One time there were burnt pop-tarts. The police officer confiscated the entire toaster with the charcoal pop-tarts stuck inside. Why he would take the toaster, we still can't say. Nor did we understand his desire to keep the severely burnt pop-tarts.

Or there was the time when the girl put her easy-mac in the mircowave for three minutes...but due to a microwave programming error, it was a bit more than three. Try 30 minutes. The easy-mac went up in flames and smoke flooded the entire floor. We had to bring up box fans from the basement to attempt to air the place out. The microwave forever has a yellowish tint to it.

Over-Microwaved Easy-Mac

The other day, a water main broke. ALL the water was shut off. No flushing toilets, no showers, no washing hands or dishes. No agua por tu. Emily, my co-worker, and I handed out flyers to all the floors that explained what had happened. We got up to the sixth floor and there was a group of girls standing in the common area. They were all in pajamas, their hair was askew, their make-up was smudged all over their faces. Emily and I looked at them and laughed at the pitiful sight before us. "Hi girls," we said with a hint of sarcasm...they all looked at us and in complete unison let out an irritated/groggy, "heeeeeeyyy...." They were ticked. But we all laughed at the awful situation. Turns out, as soon as we got all the signs hung up and all the bathrooms locked, the water main was fixed and turned back on.

Then there's the elevator. One of the two elevators is out of commission for 2 or 3 weeks because the motor broke. We are limited to one elevator to service the entire building. It whaw-aw-omps. I spend a lot of my time waiting for the ding that lets me know the elevator has arrived on my floor. It's a magical ding. As soon as it goes off, there is a mad dash as girls come flying out of their rooms to catch their ride before the doors shut on them. The things I take for granted! Yet, complaining brings women together. We all suddenly have something in common! So as we wait or ride the elevator together, we simply complain together and laugh. Whatever it takes, right?

Every day is an adventure. It's the same thing day in and day out, but there is always a slight twist to my situation. It makes me laugh. And  it makes my job bearable. Actually, I really love my job! It works around my school schedule and my co-workers are really wonderful. I've never minded cleaning and I love making the transition from dirty to clean. It also makes me feel good about myself knowing that I can do something nice for someone. And I suppose that's something very important to me. :)